


Total Diva Island

by Mistressaq



Category: Canada's Drag Race RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Developing Friendships, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reality TV, Teamwork, Total drama island au, check notes for warnings-- nothing too bad i just air on the side of caution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27767557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistressaq/pseuds/Mistressaq
Summary: “What--theshow?” prompts Lagoona. “The one that led you on and didn’t cast you and left you more depressed than any breakup has in the entire time I’ve known you?”Alaska closes her eyes and shrugs. “That’s the one.”“What? Happened?” hisses Detox.“They said a spot opened up--”“Yeah butwhy?”“I…” She looks between her two friends. “Don’t know.” They’re asking really good questions actually...Detox leans back. “See, that’s sketchy. When did they start filming, like, yesterday?”Alaska nods.“And they’re already down a girl,” says Lagoona. “What does that tell you?”
Relationships: Adore Delano | Danny Noriega/Courtney Act | Shane Jenek, Alaska/Jinkx Monsoon, Courtney Act | Shane Jenek/Alaska (Drag Race), Relationships to be added, Scarlett Bobo/Ilona Verley, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 12
Kudos: 10





	1. An Offer She Can't Refuse

Alaska is in the uber with Lagoona and Detox, just about to grab dinner when her phone rings. She silences the call without bothering to see who it is. She’s still recovering from possibly the biggest letdown of her life, plus another batch of pilot season auditions, with nothing there either. She knew, and everyone had told her as much, that being an aspiring actor was a hard road uphill, but for a girl with her looks and build and actual talent to boot, it sounds spoiled but… she’d expected better for herself. 

Which is why the reality show falling through had hurt so badly. To have come so close, so,  _ so _ close, go through multiple callbacks for the first time ever getting so damn close! And not to make the cut… she’d been inconsolable. Tonight is the first time she’d been ready to go out with her friends again, like she used to. Plus, who knows. Some big-shot producer or casting director could watch her and her friends waltz into the cheesecake factory, see her and… ah, fuck it. Tonight is about her, being young and dumb and hungry and reckless. She’s gonna eat a giant meal, pound tequila shots, not remember half the people she meets, and wake up tomorrow afternoon on the couch with half her face still on. Their appetizers arrive and her phone vibrates, making that godawful buzzing sound on the tabletop. Of course, as a good Zilennial, she checks the caller ID, expecting a robocall, so she can hit ignore and move on with her night. She actually finds she has several missed calls, but it’s the text messages from her agent that strike her to the bone. 

Michelle: Alaska it’s the reality show people they wanna talk to you

Michelle: i know you’re pissed off but a spot opened up PICK UP YOUR PHONE

Her jaw drops. Lagoona asks what’s going on but Michelle is calling her and she  _ has _ to pick up so she shakes her head to keep her friends quiet for a moment. 

“Michelle? Hi, sorry I was--”

Michelle cuts her off. “Good, Alaska? I’ve got Devon on the other line, with _Total Diva Island_. Are you at home?”

“Um.” Alaska’s voice is suddenly thick. “No, I’m. I’m out. To dinner.” She clears her throat and tucks her hair over her shoulder, hiding from her friends intense gazes. 

“Somewhere you’ll be overheard?” prompts Michelle.

Alaska takes Lagoona and Detox’s expressions as evidence that the restaurant is loud enough to keep this call between her and Michelle. And Devon, of course. 

“No, we’re good,” she says. She’d offer to step outside if she wasn’t stuck on the inside of the booth. She’d have to physically crawl over Detox to get anywhere. 

“In that case, good. Go for it, Devon.”

“Hi, Alaska, Devon McCullogh here, we spoke briefly over Skype in one of your casting calls.” 

She remembers his voice, he was the guy talking about rules. She recalls him having a good beard. Her throat is getting dry, so she sips on her ice water. 

Devon continues “You made it very far into the casting process, just short of making it on.”

“I know.” It comes out more pointed than she intended. Alaska takes a breath. “I mean, I remember.”

“Right, right, of course.” Devon recovers. “So I’ll cut to the chase, since filming has started and time is money. One of the contestants is no longer available, and the spot is open if you want it.”

Alaska’s brows furrow. “I… what?”

Michelle takes over. “Think fast, ‘cause if you want it, we can get you on a Red-eye in five hours.”

“I…” Alaska glances between her two friends. She’s genuinely considering not going. She’d been looking forward to tonight. She’d gotten all dolled up! 

“I’ll call you back in a half hour,” says Michelle. “Have a yes or no for me by then.”

“Preferably a yes,” says Devon. “I was gunning for you in the casting. We’d really be so excited to have you.”

“Oh,” Alaska softens. “Thanks.”

“Half hour,” Michelle barks before hanging up. 

Alaska sets her phone in her lap and takes a breath.

“WELL?!” Whoever says it, Dee or Lagoona, Alaska can’t tell.

“What was that??” That’s Lagoona.

Alaska rolls her shoulders. Stares into her water, mixes the ice around with the straw. “I… have a job offer.”

“No shit!” Detox throws her hands to the sides. “What for?!”

“That… reality show.”

“What--  _ the _ show?” prompts Lagoona. “The one that led you on and didn’t cast you and left you more depressed than any breakup has in the entire time I’ve known you?”

Alaska closes her eyes and shrugs. “That’s the one.”

“What? Happened?” hisses Detox.

“They said a spot opened up--”

“Yeah but  _ why?”  _

“I…” She looks between her two friends. “Don’t know.”  _ They’re asking really good questions actually. Why didn’t I ask that? _

Detox leans back. “See, that’s sketchy. When did they start filming, like, yesterday?” 

Alaska nods.

“And they’re already down a girl,” says Lagoona. “What does that tell you?”

“Well we knew it was gonna be dangerous,” says Alaska. “Probably just someone dropped out.”

Detox tilts her head, pursing her lips. “I saw the waiver they had you look at, no one signs up for this kinda thing who isn't some kind of self destructive masochist. Those people don’t get scared off by much. No,” she shakes her head. “This has bad written all over it. Lask, I don’t think you should do it.”

“Me neither, ‘Lask.” Lagoona reaches out to her over the table. “It’s not worth it.”

Alaska feels like she just got slapped in the face. These girls  _ knew _ how much she wanted this, they watched her  _ mourn _ this gig. And now they’re saying not to? Now?? “I can’t believe this,” she whispers. 

Detox starts up again. “Laska, I know you wanted this but there’ll be plenty of opportunities--”

“No.” Alaska slaps the table and stands. Her chest and eyes are ablaze as she stares down her friend. Ex-friend, perhaps. “Not for me. It’s  _ never _ worked for me and for  _ once  _ when I have a chance-- a  _ real _ chance at not just getting a bit part as a dead hooker, but a chance at doing something REAL, showing my TALENTS not just my bare tits and ass-- NOW you disapprove?” 

That one stings, she can see it in her friend’s eyes. Dee has gotten several roles, none of them speaking parts, usually as a random sex worker, either dead or soon-to-be so. And they always celebrate every little part, because hey, you’re working. But Alaska has always wanted more, fought for more, maybe felt entitled to more— on account of she was fighting so hard. Only now, with this show, has that ever paid off. And for Detox to lead the charge in disparaging the best opportunity she’s probably ever gonna get, and for Lagoona to  _ join _ her? “Fuck you.”

Alaska climbs over Detox, no care given to her comfort in the process. She is barely conscious of Detox cursing back at her, or Lagoona backtracking and pleading. Michelle has picked up by the time Alaska charges back through the revolving door. “I don’t need a half hour,” she seethes. “Count me the fuck in.”

[Teaser]

Voice over: Next time on Total Diva Island…

[Roll stock footage of helicopter taking off.] 

Production audio: _She needs immediate medical attention._

(Voice of) Director Alyssa: how long they gonna keep her for?

[Play heart monitor beeping/heavy breathing sound effects. Music swells.]

[Black screen]

(Voice of) Producer: _I don’t think she’ll be coming back._

[pause for effect]

[open back up on footage of new contestant on the dock of a speedboat approaching the Diva Dock in the light of the sun. Contestant is wearing a giant black sunhat which obscures half her face from view]

(voice of) Manila: Ladies, meet Alaska!

Katya Talking Head: My p[REDACTED]y was on the FUH-LOOR!

Ilona Talking Head: but why her?

Adore Talking Head: I wanna hate her. Too bad she’s so f[REDACTED] nice.

Trixie Talking Head: I just don’t like her

Rita Talking Head: she is one to look out for

Jackie Talking Head: I am not threatened by Alaska.

Eureka Talking Head: Imma call her Sharon still. (laughs)

[reaction shots. Blast the music.]

[TOTAL! DIVA! ISLAND! Title card and endscreen]


	2. Fresh Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alaska arrives on set and is introduced to her new teammates. She's also introduced to the 50 foot cliff she'll be jumping off of in a matter of hours

Episode 2

Intro:

[Roll stock footage of helicopter taking off.] 

Production audio: She needs immediate medical attention. 

(Voice of) Director Alyssa: how long they gonna keep her for?

[Play heart monitor beeping/heavy breathing sound effects. Music swells.]

[Black screen]

[pause for effect]

Scene 1:

The following morning. B-roll of contestants walking down to the Boardwalk intercut w/ confessional footage.

Open on Heidi’s Confessional:

They call us to the docks early in the mornin’ and we’re nervous ‘cause we don’t know what to think. We don't know what all happened yesterday. Just know it didn't go as planned.

Silky Confessional:

Look, all I know is, Sharon ain’t come to bunk with us last night, her stuff's gone, like she never been there to start with. 

Courtney Confessional:

I’ve got the Eastern facing window an’ I watched them land a helicopter on the dock yeste’day. Also a boat came and picked up some luggage-- it had to be hers. 

(dramatic pause. Blast the music)

I don’t think we’ll be seein’ Sharon again. 

///

“Okay, _now_.” Devon’s voice crackles over the radio and Alaska takes a breath. Her thumb rests on the top of the handle. Now’s the time. 

She swings the door open wide and takes long strides out onto the front deck in her heavy combat boots. The sun is already hot and it isn’t even 9 am. The waves reflect the sunlight abrasively, making Alaska grateful she’d included her sunglasses in her Arrival outfit. She’s certain to be a vision on camera. Her tan skin, cropped tee and high rise jean shorts, giant fuckoff sunhat protecting her freshly-dyed roots from sun damage, long blonde hair streaming behind her in the breeze created by the boat ripping through the picturesque waves en route to the island which will be her home for the next six weeks. From this distance, the island they're referring to as 'Wannakiki' looks tiny, the shores more resembling the rocky banks of the East Coast than sunny California. She sees a brown spire rising into the sky towards the hump in the middle of the island, and the thin dock on the near side, peppered by the dark shapes of the camera crew. Behind her she hears her camera guy step around her in an arc, getting her from low angles. 

_Bet I look intimidating from down there,_ thinks Alaska with a smirk. She takes the extra steps to the front railing, where she picks up her right foot and plants it firmly on the middle bar. Alaska drapes her wrist over her bent knee and tilts her head back. Could the effect be undercut if the camera should pick up the blotchy seam where her fake tanner ends and her foundation begins? Quite possibly. But the contestants on that dock won’t see that. 

By the time the boat reaches the dock, the position has become uncomfortable, and Alaska has a momentary panic when she imagines herself trying to disembark, only for her foot to be stuck between the bars on the railing. Thankfully, she has the good sense to pull loose ahead of time. 

Now at the dock, Alaska has the ability to parse out the people gathered. Camera, audio, lighting people, plus a woman who appears to be in her mid-to-late thirties with garishly shaped sunglasses, a matching jumpsuit, and no chin, sitting in the director’s chair. This must be Miss Edwards; Devon had talked about her. “Nutty as a squirrel,” he’d said. “But damn if she isn’t good TV. Knows how to make it too. I wouldn’t be backing this project if it was anybody else at the helm.”

The director being one less thing to worry about, Alaska’s attention next falls on the hosts of the program. One tall, broad woman who reminds Alaska of a linebacker, and a shorter, wiry lady with a single tan streak in the midst of her raven black hair. Both wear bright yellow shirts with what Alaska guesses is the show’s logo. Devon had called them Latrice and Manila, said she’d know Manila by the streak in her hair, making Latrice the linebacker. She says their names over and over in her head as she approaches. She's not about to mess up the hosts names in her first interaction with them.

When she disembarks, she struts right over to the chalked X on the boardwalk next to the hosts. 

“I like your hat,” says the tall Latrice, her voice deep. 

“Thank you.” Alaska smiles, showing off her freshly-bleached teeth. “I like your matching shirts. Very Family Vacation.”

“Hah!” Latrice’s laugh is like a light-hearted croak. “Don’t worry, honey, you’ll be gettin’ one too when you run outta clean clothes.”

A laugh ripples through the crowd of contestants. 

Alaska keeps smiling. “I can’t wait.”

A hand rises from behind the camera, and motions to ‘move on’. Manila takes over, beginning to explain the situation to the cameras and the contestants. Alaska scans the location from behind her sunglasses, looking for a teleprompter. Not finding one, she wonders if Manila is being fed this speech through an earpiece or if she memorized the whole thing. 

“--and will not be returning to the competition. How. EVER,” Manila pauses. “It wouldn’t be fair to the competition for the Screaming Queens to lose a member this early on, so… Queens, meet Alaska.”

Most of the gathered company at least gives a half-hearted wave. At this point, nobody else is wearing themed wardrobe, so she can’t tell which people are her new teammates or competitors, but some girls on one side are making more concentrated eye contact with her. A couple of girls, a petit blonde and a dark-skinned girl with cartoonishly large eyes give her genuine smiles. The little black girl’s two front teeth have a gap in the middle which Alaska finds immediately charming. 

The hosts dismiss her to go stand with her team, and she joins the girls she pegged as the friendliest. However, another girl catches her eye with a slight wave. This one is considerably pale, with wild ringlets of bright orange hair and a mouth that takes up half of her face. ‘Welcome’ she mouths. 

‘Thank you’ Alaska mouths back. 

Latrice takes over for the dismissal. “Now, because of the extenuating circumstances yesterday, not all the Screaming Queens got to do the challenge, and none of the Bubblegum Bitches had the chance. So hope you ate healthy this mornin’ cause if you didn’t jump yesterday, you’re gonna have to today.” Her voice booms like an old timey preacher and Alaska wonders if they mike this woman individually or just use the boom microphone hanging just out of frame.

Alaska makes eye contact with the redhead and leans behind the rest of the girls to ask, “Jump where?”

The redhead reads Alaska’s lips and turns further to the left. Alaska follows her gaze and startles. On the boat coming in, she had to have seen the high and steep cliff rising higher than the rest of the natural landscape, what must be fifty feet up-- higher than any diving board she’d seen. 

_“Oh yeah,_ Alaska,” chuckles Manila. “That’s where you’ll be jumping from.”

“Alaska doesn’t have to,” says a voice from behind the camera. 

“What?” asks a dozen voices on both sides of the camera, Alaska herself included.

This time she recognizes the voice as Devon’s. “She’s filling in for Sharon, and Sharon _did_ do the jump, so Alaska’s exempt from penalties.” 

A groan echoes through the opposing team and some of her own team members. 

“Just for this first challenge!” Devon amends, to modest response. 

Devon had told her the rundown of this first challenge, a dive into shark infested waters. But Alaska, having never been on a set before, doesn’t know what to do exactly when she has a question, so she reverts to grade school etiquette and raises her hand. 

“Uh… yes?” she hears from behind the camera. “What is it?”

Alaska swallows, a little embarrassed by the tone of whoever asked. “Um, if I don’t _have_ to there’s no penalties for me tapping out--”

Miss Edwards, the director, leans to the side enough that Alaska can see her directly. “That is _literally_ what the man just said, darlin'.”

A laugh disseminates around the set. “I know, but--” Alaska blushes under her foundation and fake tan. “But what if I DID do it?” she asks. “Would that be bonus points?”

A hopeful noise rises from her teammates while the opposing side calls bullshit.

The director agrees. “Yeah, no, the other team doesn’t get a chance at bonus points. No bonus points.”

“Okay you might not get game points for it,” says Latrice. “But you’re sure to get respect from your teammates if you do.”

Manila nods with her whole upper body. “Which is Important because it’ll be your teammates voting on who gets sent home first if your group ends up in the bottom.”

Alaska hates even the mention of getting sent home first. She can’t let that happen. So, no matter how much she dislikes heights, how much she doesn’t want to do this, her decision is essentially made for her before they even set off on the trek up to the peak.

///

Scene 3, the contestants react to Alaska as an addition to the cast.

Adore Confessional:

Honestly I'm glad Sharon’s gone, I couldn’t stand that whore-- in general people who love to hear themselves talk, like after a while it all turns into like the grown-ups in any Charlie Brown cartoon, just ‘wah wah wuh wuh wah’. 

Ilona Verley Confessional:

It’s not the girl I’m annoyed with, like I don’t know her. It’s: why her? We have so many girls like her on the cast already, why’d they have to go hire another generic blonde bitch, I’m sure there were more interesting candidates. 

But I’m not in charge, so. (shrugs)

Eureka Confessional:

Yet another of these twig skinny bitches, I’m not good with names and I already done had to learn so many yesterday I ain’t even bothered rememberin’ hers! Imma call her Sharon still, I told her so and she said she’s fine with it!

Scarlet Bobo Confessional:

My thoughts on the new girl? Uh… Fine? I guess? Like I get it but I’m kinda pissed off that they brought in a new girl I thought I was that much closer to winning. Sue me.

Heidi confessional:

We haven’t known Alaska all that long but she seems nice, maybe a little scary but I think that's just ‘cause she’s… motivated. Like we saw her on that boat comin’ at the dock like ‘woah okay this bitch did not come to fuck around.’

Adore(continued):

I dunno. This girl talks less, I like her better already. (laughs)

[We switch perspectives to see what the Bubblegum Bitches think.] 

Rita Baga Confessional (subtitled bc heavy french accent):

I see this new girl, Nebraska, whatever her name is. I see her and I think this is interesting, because the girl she is replacing I did not see as a threat, I did not see her in the final with me. But this one… I don’t know about her.

Aja Confessional:

New Girl was giving me some Big d[REDACTED] energy just posed on the front of the boat like (she mimics Alaska’s entrance pose).

Katya Confessional:

(holding up palms)

Okay okay okay okay okay! I know-- (cackles)

I know I’m supposed to say like, what I think of her as like, the competition, but girl… (cackles)

That bitch stepped off the boat and my p[REDACTED] was on the FUH-LOOR, I mean--

Trixie Confessional:

No, I don’t have an answer for ‘why’ I don’t like her, I just don’t. Okay? Next question.

Jan Confessional:

Mmm, this replacement girl might be fierce competition.

Brooke Lynn Hytes Confessional:

(shakes head) I dunno, guys. It’s another tall athletic blonde girl. I’m like, losing ground as far as appeal goes (laughs). At least this one’s on the other team.

Jackie Cox Confessional:

I’m not threatened by Alaska. Certainly I still believe we have the stronger team. I just don’t know how well she’s gonna gel with the connections and cliques that are already forming from the first day.

Rita(continued):

I have to watch very carefully through this competition, if she is one to look out for or if all this confidence will come crashing down a few weeks in. 

Jackie Cox (Continued):

Ultimately, whether she stays past the first week is gonna depend on how many friends she can make and how quickly she can make them.

[end of scene. cut to break teaser]

///

[Up Next on Total! Diva! Island!]

Alaska: I used to work at a dirty bookstore

(dramatic reactions/laughter)

[The Screaming Queens make a Splash!] 

Clips of competitors splashing into the water with Latrice and Manila in the background. Our hosts raise a double handled scorecard that either reads 6 or 9. 

Alaska: How the f[REDACTED] am I supposed to compete with that?!

Jaida: Yeah, I made the mistake of jumpin’ straight up with my feet apart. 

[insert footage of contestants impacting w legs spread]

Jaida: don’t do that.  _ Hurts _ the lady bits.

[Friendship!]

(off-screen)Scarlet Bobo: I’ll go next if you go with me.

(footage of Scarlet and Ilona jumping off the platform hand in hand)

(off-screen)Alaska: you don’t have to jump alone

(footage of Alaska and Jinkx hugging)

[And Cowardice!]

(footage of someone’s outstretched hand as a Chicken Hat is placed into it)

(dramatic music. Zoomed in out of context reactions.)

[Up Next!]

[commercial break]


	3. With a Little Help From My Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alaska and her team get to know each other better. We learn what happened to Sharon, and how NOT to jump off a cliff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas  
> Warning for brief description of a self injury. Very brief. It comes when Jinkx describes what happened to Sharon.

It takes her team almost no time to cluster up around Alaska and grill her with questions. The tallest, biggest girl there, who actually reminds her of Latrice but with the colors inverted, has a voice like a chain smoking trumpet. She’s the one that says “Now I’m not good with names and I already done had to learn so many yesterday I’m just gonna still call you Sharon.”

Several people laugh and Alaska rolls with it. She’d rather not be compared to the girl she’s replacing, but she’s not about to make a fuss about it within the first ten minutes. 

“Really?” squawks a short girl with medium brown skin. “You talkin’ bout other peoples names like you ain’t called Eureka?”

Alaska laughs along with the rest of the group, Eureka included. 

“Girl, you know it ain’t my fault my mamma squirted me out on a freshly vacuumed floor!”

A girl with dyed green tips loops to the other side of the big girl on Alaska’s right. “So uh, what's your name again?” she asks. “Nebraska?” 

Alaska tilts her head back a little farther so she can see the girl better under the brim of her giant floppy sun hat. “My name’s _Al_ aska, Nebraska’s my cousin.” 

“Wait really?” asks the little blonde girl to Alaska’s left. 

Alaska pushes her sunglasses down over her long nose to look her in the eye. “No.”

It gets exactly the reaction she wanted: scream-laughs erupt on both sides of her. She can feel the energy coming off of the camera crew as they try to keep up with the girls. Now as they get closer to the steep cliff, Alaska realizes it’s not a naturally occurring landmass at all, but a constructed staircase with one side dressed up with grass and sand and stuff to _look_ real. One the undressed side of the setpiece is some kind of rig that will let the crew follow them up to the top platform. Too late, she realizes she’s staring, and has been ignoring the girls questions. 

“God, sorry,” she breathes. “I was just…”

“Girl, we know you lookin’ at that cliff!” The short girl from earlier calls her out like she’d called out Eureka. 

Alaska splutters and pulls her hat down over her face.

A small hand appears on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Alaska.” She looks and sees it’s the little blonde girl. She had a name like Brittany or Melanie. When she spoke, Alaska noted the prominent Aussie accent. “It’s not so bad as it looks.”

“Really?” Alaska’s voice cracks. 

“Mm, Courtney would know,” says the girl with green hair. “She’s one of the only people who jumped yesterday.”

 _Courtney!_ Alaska repeats it over and over in her head. _Courtney, Courtney, Courtney._

The short black girl runs ahead in protest. “Don’t listen to Courtney an’ her tiny ass! This jump’s enough to put the fear of God in anyone.”

Eureka shakes her head. “Honestly Miss Silk, my mama prob’ly be happier if it did,” she jokes. “Fear of God ain’t somethin’ I've had since junior high.”

Alaska chuckles. “Same here. Honestly probably longer than that.”

A girl speaks up whose voice Alaska hasn’t heard before. “I guess we didn’t have all that on the reservation.” This one is maybe half an inch shorter than Alaska herself, with skin a few shades darker and lavender side-shaved hair. Bits of metal are embedded in her eyebrow, nose and lip. She shrugs and keeps talking. “I mean, there were churches and some people were christian I guess but it was more for organized activities than religion.”

“See that’s how it was back in Australia!” Courtney chimes in. 

Meanwhile Eureka is saying “In the South it’s just somethin’ you say, I dunno if it has anything to do with actual religion.”

The gap-toothed girl-- Heidi, Alaska actually remembers-- nods. “Yeah it’s like a figure of speech.”

Alaska’s heart falters at the girl’s soft, sweet voice. She didn’t think real people actually talked like that, but she’s quickly getting used to being around people that are even more different than in LA. Being from suburban Pennsylvania, moving to Pittsburgh for college and then California for work, Alaska kinda thought her mind was broad as could be. In fact, she’d never met anyone from a reservation before, and not really anyone from south of the Mason-Dixon either. It’s early, but she’s already looking forward to getting to know these girls and hear their stories. She’s about to ask the purple-haired girl more about her hometown when someone calls out from behind the camera, “Alaska! Tell the others about yourself!”

“I-uh.” Alaska blinks, having suddenly forgotten everything important about herself. 

Thankfully, the red-headed girl from the dock swoops in to save her. “So Alaska, where are you from?” 

After the director had first called ‘cut’ Alaska had a brief conversation with the redhead where she introduced herself as Jinkx. They hadn’t gotten to know each other that well before Miss Edwards called Alaska by name and motioned for her to come see her. For a second, Alaska feared she’d already gotten herself in trouble or done something wrong without realizing, but Miss Edwards just wanted to say hi and make sure she was feeling okay for her first day on set. “And remember miss Alaska there are some stupid questions but I’d rather you ask me and look a fool than assume and have the whole world see you as one, you get me?”Hearing that from the woman in charge settled Alaska’s nerves considerably. She understands now what actors mean when they say ‘it helps to know you’re in good hands’. 

Alaska rattles off the basics, that she came from LA, but was born and raised in, Pennsylvania. 

“Other ocean’s pretty cold I hear,” says the girl with the green hair. For the life of her, Alaska can not remember her name. It was something off-beat but not as memorable as ‘Eureka’ or ‘Silky’. 

While Alaska is racking her brain, she tries to answer. “It... can get cold.” Her words are stilted and awkward. Alaska cringes. “But in the summer It can get so gross humid. Florida’s supposed to be like that all the time I dunno how I’d function.”

“Chiiild.” Silky shakes her head. “When you go outside it ain’t even walkin’ anymore, it’s just swimmin’.”

“Oh, are you from Florida?” asks Alaska

“Yeah, Florida,” Silky answers. “ Louisiana, Texas, all over the south really. And all over it is so God damn humid and _hot_ it doesn’t even make sense to say “sweatin’ like a whore in church” ‘cause bitch we ALL sweatin’ you ain’t special!”

While everyone laughs, another prompt comes from behind the camera. “Jaida! Ask Alaska if she’s single!”

A modelesque black girl startles at her name being called. Alaska doesn’t recall having heard her speak yet. Jaida recovers quickly enough and clears her throat. “Um. So Alaska, are you seeing anyone?”

Alaska again is thrown off by the sudden interjection. It’s so weird to her to have perfectly natural conversations she’s having fun with getting cut off and redirected like this. She guesses she’ll have to get used to it. “I’m, er, no. I’m not. Seeing anyone.” A beat passes and her reflex is to fill it. “Usually I tell people that I’m married to my job, and that I’m unemployed.” That gets a chuckle here, as it often did back in Cali. 

“Well, before now, you were unemployed,” corrects Eureka.

“Right,” says Alaska, nervous again. She hopes they’ll be able to move on from this topic, but these girls are clearly more experienced than her at being on camera and getting storyline and screen time and all that.

It’s Courtney who asks the uncomfortable question. “Why are you unemployed? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Well, I used to work at a dirty bookstore.” Alaska lets out a chuckle. 

Heidi’s already big eyes seem to bug out of her head. “I’m sorry —those _exist_?”

“Oh yeah,” says Alaska. “I mean, not as much as they used to, and mostly in bigger cities, but yeah. It was educational!”

 _“Please_ tell me you got fired from a dirty bookstore,” begs the green-haired girl excitedly. “That would be the funniest fucking thing ever.”

Alaska lets out a little whine, throwing her head back. She has to catch her hat before it falls off of her head. “That would be funny but no,” she admits. “I resigned. So that I could devote myself to auditioning.”

Courtney offers Alaska a sobering nod.

Someone asks what happened. Alaska sucks in a deep breath through her nose. “I never got a callback. And I’ve been in LA for coming up on five years.”

“Not once?” Courtney asks in disbelief.

Alaska shakes her head, her jaw clenched. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, babe,” says Green Hair. “I’ve got plenty of failed actor friends who ended up with careers on reality TV. This is your shot, you just gotta make the most of it.”

 _I’m not a failed actor!_ Alaska almost protests. She holds back, because the girl is right about one thing. This _is_ her shot. 

They’ve made it to the top of the cliff. 

Scene 2

[Open on Alaska Talking Head]

Alaska Confessional:

So we reached the top… (sucks teeth)

And iiiiiiit’ss… really high. 

_No,_ I've never been _cliff jumping_ before! I never even did the high dive at the public pool! I only did the middle one. This is like (shakes head), look my undergrad was not in mathematics but it’s like the high dive stacked on top of itself ten times.

[information popup: Diving platforms at public pools average 10-12 ft (~3.5m) at the highest, and our platform is just under 50 feet, so her guesstimation is just a tad over.]

Alaska (contd):

And I don’t want to, but they make me look down and way, _way_ the hell down there is this brown square, and Latrice and Manila are standing down there because that’s the platform we have to swim to after we jump. Meanwhile I’m trying to do physics homework-- which I was _never_ good at-- to try and figure out how I’m supposed to make it down there and avoid going _splat!_

///

Alaska, having paled considerably beneath her fake tan, retreats to Jinkx’ side. “What happened to the other girl again?” she whispers, her voice shaking. Her friends’ skepticism back home doesn’t seem so mean spirited now that she’s up here.

They’re resetting the cameras to watch people jump, but Jinkx keeps her voice low, just to be safe. “They wouldn’t tell us, we had to piece things together throughout the day.”

Alaska fidgets. “And?”

Jinkx glances at the crew. “And she went near the beginning, she walked off, and it was fine at first but…” she softens her voice even further, whispering behind her hand as she pretends to yawn. “Something went wrong down by the docks. We were up here waiting for hours before they told us to go back down.”

This is doing absolutely nothing for Alaska’s anxiety. She’s starting to feel queasy and light-headed. A hand steadies the back of her arm. Jinkx looks at her and extends her arms for a hug. The last thing Alaska wants right now is a lot of contact, but Jinkx motions with her fingers and there’s something in her eyes. 

“It’s not gonna happen to you, don’t worry.”

She reaches up to swipe hair behind Alaska’s right ear. Alaska lets her in. Sure enough, once her breath is inches away from Alaska’s ear, the redhead divulges what she knows. 

“Before she jumped I watched her bite her hand until it bled. I’m pretty sure she did it on purpose.”

Someone giving themself an open wound before diving into shark-infested waters? Alaska grips Jinkx a little harder, just to make sure she stays put to answer her main question. “But _why?_ ” she rasps. “Why would someone do that, especially someone who signs up for a show like this?”

Jinks shrugs against her. “It’s anybody’s guess. But we all saw how she reacted when they told us it was a dry set.” Jinkx pauses. “They’re looking, break.”

They let go in time for Miss Edwards to call the ready. “Alaska!” she calls.

“Ready!” Alaska jolts, stands trembling at attention like a lanky chihuahua. 

“You volunteering to go first?” There’s a smile on Miss Edward’s voice. 

Alaska feels acid rise in her throat. She shrinks back. People laugh. 

Courtney steps forward. “Actually Alyssa, can I go first?”

“Crazy bitch went yesterday,” Eureka says at regular volume. Which is, to say, loud. 

The little Aussie half-turns. “I know, but I’d like to go again! Climbed up the whole way, gotta go down one way or anotha’!”

The director makes a popping noise with her mouth. “Awlriight,” she says. “Ready for Cliff Jump Day 2 take one. Roll on Courtney. Aaand action!”

Courtney kicks her shoes off to the side and sheds her other layers, revealing a cutesy bathing suit underneath. As she does so, she has to re-explain to the camera that she’s volunteering to go first even though she went yesterday. The girl takes a few steps back before giving herself a running start, leaping from the platform. She catches just enough air for the gathered girls to see her tuck her knees to her chest and pitch forward before disappearing below their line of sight. It takes a good couple of seconds before they hear the telltale splash and cheers from below, signaling her second success. 

Alaska Confessional:

Courtney goes first, and I’m standing here like...

(she holds her arms out to the sides. Glances from left to right.) 

How the f[REDACTED] am I supposed to compete with that?!

[insert shot of Courtney surfacing to applause, her smile as she paddles toward the floating platform]

Adore Confessional:

I wanna hate her. Too bad she’s so f[REDACTED] nice.

Someone behind the camera shouts “How about Jaida? D’you wanna go again?”

“Absolutely not. I put on a good hair today!” yells Jaida. She turns to the giant white girl. “You going again, Eureka?”

“You know me, I’ll try anything once, but no ma’am not again in this lifetime!” Eureka laughs, the volume really fraying Alaska’s heightened nerves. 

“Alright then who’s up next?” asks a producer. “We can be like grade school; I can start calling on people.”

“Okay _fine.”_ The girl with the green hair steps forward.

“Okay, Adore’s up second!” the producer declares. 

_Adore!_ Alaska realizes. _That’s her name. Adore. Adore with the green hair and the good taste in band T shirts._

She pulls a hair tie from her wrist and piles her hair up on top of her head. When she pulls off her sunglasses and tosses them beside Courtney’s, Alaska realizes Adore has really pretty green eyes. They’re especially vibrant compared to the heavy black liner on and around Adore’s lids. She doesn’t remove her tee, just her converse and her shorts. Underneath, she’s obviously wearing a black one piece swimsuit, so Alaska wonders why she wouldn’t take the top off as well. She doesn’t bother with a running start, just walks to the edge of the platform and hops off. 

After Adore’s splash, Miss Edwards says “Start thinking about who’s going next, we’re making up for lost time here folks!”

A few feet away, the girl with lavender hair turns to her friend and says “I’ll go next if you go with me.” Her friend, who also has artificially colored hair (though hers is neon yellow), agrees and Alaska watches as they hype each other up. Alyssa announces them as Scarlet and Ilona, though which is which Alaska can’t hope to tell. They take their running start together and leap from the platform hand-in-hand. 

Alaska misses her friends back home. She scoots a little closer to Jinkx.

Alaska Confessional:

Jinkx and I already hugged once so they’re basically my best friend. 

Producer (off-screen):

What drew you to Jinkx?

Alaska:

I dunno. I guess… (shrugs) some people are just Friend Shaped.

Silky volunteers next, and takes off running from the platform before stretching out like a starfish facing down what Alaska anticipates will be a very painful belly flop.

Alaska slinks to the back of the shrinking group where Jaida and Eureka are. Heidi asks Jaida what jumping felt like, and Alaska really wants to hear this answer.

“It’s not that bad— the free-fall is what I was most scared of,” says Jaida.

“Ha, not me, I knew hittin’ the water’s the real scary part,” Eureka cuts in. “Shit hurts.”

Jaida nods, makes eye contact with both Heidi and Alaska. “Yeah, I made the mistake of jumpin’ straight up with my feet apart, like a half splits—“

Eureka shrieks a laugh and utters and “ohohoooo gurl”

Jaida shakes her head. “Yeah don’t do that. _Hurts_ the lady bits.”

Eureka motions to the many pairs of eyes currently turned their way. “If I was gonna go again, I’d be goin’ head first, arms up front.” She demonstrates by making her arms into the ‘A’ in the YMCA dance. 

Heidi mirrors Eureka timidly and glances at Alaska. Alaska moves her arms into a similar position. 

The next person is supposed to come forward and Heidi jumps from one foot to another. “Alright,” she chirps. “Get it over with— I’M READY!” The girl swivels on her heel and marches over. She takes Eureka and Jaida’s advice and leaps off the platform posed like a human pencil. 

Alaska nudges Jinkx with her elbow. “It’s you and me,” she murmurs.

Jinkx grimaces. “Actually it’s, it’s just you,”

“What?”

“I’m taking the chicken hat,” says Jinkx. “I can’t do it.”

Alaska balks. After watching everybody else go, she kinda wants to now. And she doesn’t want Jinkx to take a forfeit, she likes Jinkx, she doesn’t want them to end up voted off week one!

“Alright ladies, who’s next?” 

The cameras are on them. Alaska realizes this might be a good TV moment. She opens up her body language as if the camera is a stage audience. “You don’t have to jump alone if that’s it,” she offers. “We can go together like Scarlet and Alanna.”

“Ilona,” corrects a producer.

“Right.” Alaska shoves down the urge to look at the camera. “We can be like Scarlet and Ilona.”

Jinkx presses their lips into a thin white line.

“What’s it gonna be, divas?” Asks the director. “The Cliff or the Chicken Hat?”

Alaska places both palms on Jinkx’ shoulders. “If you jump with me, our team has _zero_ forfeits. Think of the odds of us winning if we get full points for this challenge.”

Jinkx isn’t swayed. “I’m sorry Alaska, I can’t do it.” She holds out her hand. “Devon, gimme the hat.”

Producer Devon jogs over holding a wearable chicken plushie. Jinkx pulls it down over her head so it looks like her round, freckly face is a giant egg the stuffed chicken is laying. 

Devon turns to Alaska. “Just a reminder: you don’t have to jump.”

Alaska huffs. She pulls off her sunglasses and folds them nicely. “These are expensive,” she lies, her voice thin and wispy. “I better be getting them back.”

Devon holds out his palm and Alaska drops the shades into his hand. She removes her sunhat and folds it for him to take as well. Alaska doesn't want to break her staring contest with the producer, but she knows she has to kneel down to take her boots off or else she’ll get dragged down to Davy Jones locker with these anchors on her feet. So she tries something. 

Alaska shifts her weight onto her hip and plants her foot forward. “Unlace my shoes for me,” she husks. 

Devon rolls his eyes and walks away. 

Alaska tries to recover, but Alyssa reminds her of the time crunch and she quickly goes about removing her shoes and socks by herself. She turns away from the camera to pull off her bra beneath her crop top. It’s a nice expensive piece and she’s not about to ruin good lingerie. 

“Are you ready, Princess?”

The nickname is pointed, if jokingly. Alaska hardens herself. She doesn’t want people to think she’s difficult to work with, but if she’s gonna do this thing, she has to have a fierceness. This _is_ Total Diva Island, after all. She steals her gaze on the horizon, willing that attitude and confidence she had this morning on the boat to return to her. Taking big, confident strides with her long, tan legs, swinging her hips along the way, Alaska crosses the platform. And lets herself fall.


	4. Taking the Plunge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their go, the Screaming Queens get to watch their competition do The Jump. With two notable exceptions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have most of chapter 5 done by now, there was quite a hump to get over in the middle but I'm past it now. Just a matter of finishing it lol. I don't have anything after that though. I have PLANS and IDEAS but i also have Class, the kind that crams 14 weeks of content into half that time, So.
> 
> anyway enjoy chapter 4! some drama ahead!

“I wanna see,” whines Scarlet. 

From behind the viewing stand Courtney quiets, “Don’t worry, everyone’ll get a turn with the looky-standee.” 

The Screaming Queens are back at the dock, gathered behind the binocular stand Courtney is looking through. She gets first turn, on account of she volunteered to jump first. She has to stretch to see, but has little problem relaying what’s happening at the cliff base now their opponents are up to jump. Alaska’s near the back of the group, long blonde hair still dripping wet, with one arm slung around Jinkx. The redhead is the only member of their group wearing a Chicken Hat, like a scarlet letter broadcasting the wearer as a coward. 

The dive hadn’t been that bad at all. The freefall as the water sped toward her was actually pretty peaceful. Having taken Jaida’s advice, she’d tried to dive arms-then-head first. But she’s never done this before and when they showed her the footage of her jump back, she basically did a hands-forward belly flop, tilted slightly forward so her face, shoulders and upper chest took the brunt of the impact. Surrounded by the other girls in towels Alaska noticed Ilona and Scarlet lying uncomfortably, having made the exact mistake Jaida and Eureka made yesterday. Heidi was quickly becoming her second best friend on the team, so Alaska shuffled over and asked how she did. 

“It was good!” Heidi said, her voice soft but full of excitement, as if she was trying to keep it in. “Saw myself in the monitor after and it actually looked kinda good.”

“Can’t relate.” Alaska chuckled. “Is my nose still bleeding? Started bleeding a little.”

Heidi hunched over to see Alaska’s face from below. “I don’t think so. But you do have a whole lotta nose could be bleeding.”

Alaska swatted Heidi with her towel and laughed. 

“Hey Nebraska?” 

Alaska turns around to see Ilona and Scarlet looking at her. “Yeah?”

“It’s Alaska,” Heidi corrects.

“What?” asks Ilona, looking at Scarlet.

Adore and Courtney join in from where they’re reclining. “It’s  _ Al _ aska, not  _ Ne _ braska,” says Courntey.

“Yeah we literally went through this on the way up,” says Adore.

Ilona shrugs. “Okay, sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” 

“It’s cool.” Alaska cringed. She appreciated the gesture but it was just making her feel awkward. “Anyway, did you need something?”

“Oh yeah,” said Ilona. “We were wondering how long you think it’ll take Ginger Spice to work up the nerve to jump.”

“We could wait for her here all day,” joked Scarlet. 

A weak chuckle passed around the gathered girls. Alaska slouched, remembering the bad news. 

Silky, reclined on her towel, facing the sky, had been pretty quiet up til now. She raised her voice. “Yeah, feel like it  _ has _ been longer than usual between jumps.”

Alaska used her towel to rub some of the saltwater from her hair. The action was mostly an excuse to hide her face from her teammates. “I don’t think she’s gonna be joining us down here.”

“Whad’dya mean?” asked Adore. 

Alaska flipped her hair, still heavy and wet. It kinda hurt her neck. “I mean she took the forfeit. Was already wearing it when I went.”

As if on cue, that's when Latrice announced the Screaming Queens had to leave the platform and return to the dock to spectate as the next team began their turn. Once they met up with Jaida, Jinkx and Eureka back on the boardwalk, there was no outright hostility towards Jinkx, but the other girls were decidedly less friendly toward her. In a way Alaska imagined that felt worse: for their team to be disappointed in Jinkx, as opposed to being mad at her.

The crowd catches sight of a falling body and a splash. A smattering of applause rises among the Queens.

“Wait, why are we clapping for the enemy?” asks Eureka. 

The group quiets just in time for Courtney to raise her voice. “Okay that was one of the blonde ones, the littler one I’d reckon. Sporty Spice.”

“Is that Brooke?” someone asks.

“No I’m pretty sure Brooke is the tall one--oh!”

Another splash. 

“Now  _ that _ was Brooke,” confirms Courtney with a giggle. “Did a full spin an’ everything.” She steps aside to let the next person have a go. 

Adore turns to Courtney. “Why can’t she be on  _ our _ team? I’d happily trade you for her.”

Adore cackles at Courtney’s shocked and offended reaction. She playfully punches the Aussie in the arm. “No offense, babe.”

Courtney folds her arms over her chest and scoffs. “Well I’ve never been treated with such cruelty in all my life!”

Silky laughs. “All fifteen years of it!”

Laughter ripples through the group. 

“Well what I lack in form I more than make up for in spunk!” Courtney refutes.

Behind her, Heidi’s face is taken over by disgust. She mouths an ‘ _ Eeew!!!’ _ as she takes a wide step away from Courtney. She half-hides behind Jaida, who rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything. 

_ Jaida is one of those people who don't have to speak a word to let you know exactly what they're thinking, _ Alaska notes.  _ Thats a good one, save that for the confessional. _

Up at the front, Ilona and Scarlet are fretting. “Wait how do you make this thing focus? I can’t see shit!”

“Let’s try this knob,” Ilona suggests. 

“I tried, it’s not a knob, it doesn’t turn!” 

Ilona looks at her plainly as she twists the knob to the right instead of to the left. Scarlet has a look on her face like she wants to insult Ilona, before laughing at herself. “Oh Sissy, without you I really am only half a brain cell.”

Heidi leans back toward Jinkx and Alaska. Using only half her mouth, she remarks, “I reckon those two combined don’t make a whole anything.”

“Hey Ashley and Mary Kate, what’s happening up there!” calls Jaida from the back. 

“Okay we’ve got the big scary Canadian and the girl with the piercings and acne scars,” says Scarlet. “But nobody else has gone in a while. This stupid thing is nailed to the dock, I can’t see even halfway up the cliff, let alone whatever’s going on up there!”

///

[Trixie Confessional]

Producer (off-screen):

So what happened with the jump?

Trixie: 

Mama what jump. My ass is not about to jump off a cliff. 

[zoom in on her face]

I might be desperate for a gig but I’m not suicidal.

[Farrah Confessional]

Farrah: 

Look, I'm from Texas originally, I ran away from home as a teenager. I’ve done some stupid dangerous things like kneeboarding on a piece of plywood hooked up to a rusty pickup down a dirt road after a big rain, but  _ Cliff Jumping? _

(Pause. Shakes head)

Not a chance.

[Jackie Confessional]

Jackie:

Okay being honest I came  _ this close  _ to chickening out. (Holds thumb and pointer finger a half inch apart)

But after Trixie and Farrah were  _ both _ unwilling to take the plunge, that already set us back a whole head behind the other team.

We couldn’t afford for me  _ not _ to jump.

[Katya Confessional]

Katya:

I couldn’t take another minute of listening to these girls go back and forth and back and forth— I just needed to fuckin’ leave that situation. (Laughs)

The 50 foot drop was a relief honestly. 

[Rita Confessional]

Rita:

(clearly annoyed)  _ Si j'avais su pour ces poltrons dans l'équipe avant de partir, j'aurais pris le petit et je l'ai jeté moi-même. _

ENG SUB: If I had known about these wimps on the team before I went I would have picked up the little one and thrown her off myself.

[Yvie Confessional]

Yvie: I mean it’s annoying that we’re behind now because of those two but I can’t really say it’s surprising. 

[Jackie Cont’d]

Jackie: Nothing we can do now but turn it out on the next challenge. 

[Aja Confessional]

Aja: All I can say about that is… if we land in the bottom I know who I’m voting for.

Producer(off-screen): you can only vote for one, so which girl would it be?

Aja: I mean Farrah’s kinda annoying but she does have a kind of charm to her. 

And I do like  _ looking _ at Farrah. 

Meanwhile Trixie’s a bitch and not even that pretty, so. (shrugs)

///

Lunch is sandwiches, and the crew gets first pick so the campers are left with hard bread and soggy fillings. After the eventful morning however, everyone pretty much scarfs it down, Alaska included. “This lettuce is so sad but I barely had breakfast so I couldn’t care less,” she says after her first bite. 

“Oh yeah, when did you leave the hotel anyway? The rest of us had to get up at the ass-crack of dawn,” says Naomi, a leggy string bean of a girl from the other team. 

Alaska is pleased to learn that during lunch, the contestants all kind of group up almost like they forget they’re enemies. It’s weird and kinda breaks the illusion but she likes getting to know the Bubblegum Bitches like she knows will never happen on screen. Alaska is preparing to ask her if she models like Naomi Campbell, but reconsiders. That could be offensive, or hell, even racist. She settles for just answering Naomi’s damn question.

“Uh it was pretty early.” Alaska runs her fingers through her hair. “We’re a long ass boat ride from the mainland. If you can even call it that.”

“Oh my gawd.” Farrah leans in. “I was so nervous I couldn’t even eat before they called us. I barely slept a wink.” Farrah is one of the two girls wearing chicken hats. She’s already dusted her chicken with shimmery highlighter and the other girl, Trixie, has popped blush and false lasheson hers. Trixie sits next to Farrah, but her posture and expression say she’s miles away, clearly not in a talking mood. The company at the table barely acknowledges her existence.

To Alaska’s right, Jinkx munches in relative silence as well. She has stapled some paper together in a nun's habit for her chicken to wear. Because of course, chickens are catholic. Everybody knows that. She also added a beauty mark to the left side of its beak. Alaska thinks it’s hilarious but several of the girls on their team just looked at Jinkx like she was a complete weirdo.

Beside Naomi is Yvie, who sounds like she smokes a pack a day and dresses like she rolled out of a 2000s landfill. Which, obviously, Alaska is into. Yvie addresses Jinkx: “Can I just say what you did to your hat is fucking hilarious?”

Jinkx covers her mouth. “Thanks,” she says around chewed up sandwich. “I wanted to do something different.”

“Well you definitely achieved that.” Yvie lets out a throaty chuckle. “Fuck, now I wish I hadn’t jumped, I want a hat to decorate!”

They laugh. 

“What would you do to it?” asks Alaska. “What’s your artistic vision for this guy?” She boops the beak on Jinkx’ chicken. 

Yvie shifts in her seat. Her knee pops up and Alaska feels a little more welcome in the presence of another Long Limbed Girl. Jinkx turns her head to model all the angles of her hat for Yvie to consider. Yvie grunts. “I’m stuck between like, spray-painting it black and then layering neon graffiti on top or like, burning it so it looks like it got hit by lightning.”

“I will warn you this thing is 100% polyester,” says Jinkx. 

Yvie hisses. “Well that narrows it down at least.”

After lunch, both teams are called to gather around the flagpole in the middle of camp. Several cabins face the flagpole in a semicircle. Courtney points out which one is theirs, which one belongs to the other team, and the other cabins for crew. Alaska looks over at the director, unable to imagine Alyssa sharing a cabin or a bunk bed with anyone. Plus, what about Latrice and Manila? Are they making the celebrity hosts stay on the island? Or do they commute to set every day? Alaska opens her mouth to ask, only to be cut off by the call of “READY IN FIVE, FOUR--” 

Alaska startles and jerks to attention, standing up straighter, fixing her posture, fixing her gaze Anywhere But the Camera. She hears someone nearby giggle and mutter something, probably about her. Alaska can’t help the feeling rising in her gut. It’s like being in junior high all over again. 

Action is called and Manila starts off filling in the information they already know-- stats, who has disadvantage, blah blah blah. Alaska tunes out until Latrice takes over to explain the next challenge.

“Each team will be given one set of instructions and all the supplies necessary to construct a piece of furniture.” She pauses, a knowing smile crossing her features. “Y’all know it’s Ikea only we can’t say a brand name on TV without gettin’ sued.” 

A chuckle spreads around, Manila included. “Yeah, you’ll be building Generic, definitely not recognizably branded furniture today,” she interjects.

“ ‘Cept you know there’s a twist,” says Latrice. 

Manila pretends to be shocked, letting out an over-dramatic gasp. “A TWIST?!” 

Latrice rolls her eyes at her co-host's shenanigans. “Yes, a twist. You wanna tell ‘em about it ‘Nil?”

Manila’s keeping up the charade. “But how could I know what the twist is when I’ve only JUST learned there is one?!”

Latrice mutters under her breath something along the lines of ‘you’re-so-fucking-stupid’ before clapping her hands together to get the show back on track. “Okay! So you do have all the instructions BUT only one person can look at the instructions. And they have to then tell the rest of their team what they need to do. The person reading the instructions isn’t gonna be able to see what the group is doing either.”

Both teams are visibly nervous about the challenge. They mouth questions to each other, mumble and glance at their opposing team. 

“Oh she’s not done,” Manila says to the competitors. They quiet themselves.

Latrice holds up her hands. “So not only will you not be able to read the directions, you won't even  _ know _ what you’re building.” A groan ripples through the cast. 

Manila wiggles her eyebrows and twiddles her fingers like a cartoon villain. She caps it off with the final stipulations “The reader can’t look ahead, you get one page of instructions at a time to make  _ sure _ nobody peeks. First team to finish with a stable product at the end wins. Screaming Queens, since you have advantage this week, you get to decide who you want to be the reader for your team,” she pauses for Alaska’s team to look at each other with relief, only to then smack the others in the face. “But you ALSO get to choose the reader for the opposing team as well.”

The reactions between the two teams could not be more disparate. Farrah has knit her fingers together and is hiding behind them. Trixie smacks her hands into her face so hard it makes a painful clapping noise. Yvie drills her middle finger into her right temple while slowly shaking her head. The blonde Canadian-- not the big scary one but the muscular dancer-- curls her arms around her waist and bends forward. Alaska thinks the words “haaa, we’re fucked” are coming from her, but with everyone reacting at once, there’s no way to tell for sure. 

Meanwhile on her own side, there is much rejoicing. Scarlet and Ilona clutch each other and jump up and down chanting ‘yay yay yay yay yay’ like a Disney sitcom. Adore fist pumps, a lot. Jaida leans back, stifling giddiness as Heidi looks from side to side and twirls an imaginary moustache. Alaska’s mouth is in a wide open smile and she tugs Jinkx by the wrist, just to exert some energy. “Okay but who do we want though?” She asks her team in a loud whisper. “I don’t know who would be a good choice to…” Alaska doesn’t complete her sentence because she doesn’t want to say ‘who will be a good choice to cripple them’ because that sounds so mean and also she thinks she saw on Twitter once that cripple is a slur so double not gonna say it. It doesn’t matter if she finishes her thought verbally or not-- her answer comes immediately. 

///

Scene 4.

At Base Camp. Our hosts wait for the Screaming Queens to declare who each teams Reader will be for the next challenge. 

Manila: Ladies-- or should I say Queens-- have we come to a decision?

[Eureka steps forward, pulling a hesitant looking Alaska in tow.]

Eureka: We picked Alaska. She says she’s good at staying focused and thank gawd--[sharp cut]

Latrice: Excellent, and you were also given the privilege of choosing a reader for the Bubblegum Bitches. What did you decide?

Eureka: Rita.

[Close up on Rita Baga. She is Pissed Off. Her glare could probably melt steel. Pan over to Naomi who is giving a thousand yard stare.]

[Naomi Confessional]

Naomi:

I mean it’s a good move, picking Rita for the Reader. It’s what I woulda done if I was on the other team.

[Courtney Confessional]

Courtney (Trying to be nice):

Learning a second language is hard. Especially English-- English makes no sense, we’ve stolen all these words from different languages so none of the grammar rules make sense. My heart goes out to Rita, really! 

(pauses) But yeah her English isn’t that strong and that’s why we chose her.

[Alaska Confessional]

Producer (off-screen): did you want to be the Reader?

Alaska: 

(skeptical) It wasn’t my ideaaaa. But Silky has a fuckin’ Masters in Organizational Leadership which (gestures broadly) that’s this. That’s what this is. And she said to understand what you’re saying over the radio we need someone who can talk clearly and slowly in a low pitch… (shrugs)

(Chuckles) Which I guess makes me the only one for the job!

(pause)

So fuck it, we have advantage, They have a reader who can barely speak English. Why not?

///

COMING UP ON TOTAL! DIVA! ISLAND!

((chaos.))

Alaska meltdown.

Latrice: the first person getting kicked off the island IS….


	5. Can They Build it? Yes! They! Can!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on TDI: Both teams Took The Plunge, 3 girls took forfeits, and Latrila introduced the final challenge.  
> Up Next: Competition heats up, bringing Alaska to a breaking point and we see our first campfire showdown

“Okay, Jinkx do you copy?” Alaska is handed the first page of instructions, which is more of a safety thing. It appears the furniture company expects them to do this inside, and with a carpet or rug as a buffer between the big wood components and the floor. She reaches down and tests how hard the ground is -- it’s soil, but there’s a good amount of rocky outcrops that could damage their components. If she learned anything making that desk in college, it’s that if your pieces break, You’re Fucked. Especially here, on account of they’re three hours away from civilization, and she doesn’t think Honolulu even has an Ikea; whatever they need would have to be flown or shipped from the mainland… No, if it breaks, they’re gonna lose. So, that’s a fun realization. 

“I can hear you,” Jinkx answers. “Barely.” On the other line, there’s a lot of background noise. She’d kinda expected that but it’s a bad sign. 

Alaska sucks a breath through her teeth and flicks at a bug with her page. “So first, how’s the ground? Is it hard?” She waits a minute for Jinkx to reply that yes there are hard spots but it’s mostly grass. Alaska recalls the terrain of the inner circle where the Construction Teams are working. There’s more dirt and sand and ash out there from campfires and roasts and stuff, so that’s good. “Good,” she says. “Try and avoid those spots when you’re building so none of the pieces break off. If that happens we’re royally screwed.”

“Got it.” 

Alaska thinks she still hears voices in the background, or maybe that’s just radio fuzz. She shakes her leg, digging a little ditch with the toe of her boot. They try and volley back and forth as best they can, but it’s taking longer than Alaska would like for Jinkx to answer. Plus she’s having to repeat herself a bunch, which doesn’t bode well either considering they’ve barely started. So far they’ve only barely managed to connect what kind of screws and stuff they have. It takes them a good five minutes to figure out this Z looking thingy is actually a screwdriver. Jinkx is sounding more exasperated by the minute and Alaska can only imagine the chaos happening on the other side, considering she can hear yelling from a dozen yards away. 

///

[Courtney Confessional]

Courtney: The challenge starts and our team is… having a bit of a rough time communicating.

(Footage of Jinkx trying to listen to the radio with her shirt drawn up around her head as she faces away from the team.)

Jinkx: COULD YOU REPEAT THAT? OVER.

[Jinkx Confessional]

Jinkx: Chaos. Absolute chaos.

(Clip of Adore telling Eureka to shut up for the ninth time. Jaida can be seen staring into the distance. Heidi throws her head into her hands)

Jinkx (Continued): I gotta admit I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. They surpassed my expectations on that one.

[Challenge Footage]

(Jinkx yells to the team behind her.)

Jinkx: We’re supposed to connect the rectangle pieces with the long rods! 

(Adore pokes her cheek with one of the rods.) 

Adore: I don’t think we have enough though.

Jinkx: There should be four rods! Four rectangles! 

(cut to Alaska with the instructions.)

Alaska: It’s like the ladder pieces are in the middle and these rod-rectangle pieces hold them together.

(at the Construction Zone)

( Silky holds up three pre-constructed ladder pieces. )

Silky: Wait why does one of these have things that go out and the other two have holes that go in? Did we get one of the other team's things?

(Heidi goes over to Silky, moving on her knees.)

Heidi: It’s cause this one’s gonna go in the middle, see these rectangles have--

Eureka: I still don’t get how this thing’s supposed to be a screwdriver.

Scarlett: God I want a screwdriver. Just straight vodka. Or any alcohol honestly.

Adore: Same. 

(with Alaska)

Alaska: What’s happening over there?

Jinkx (over radio): Not much. (beat) It’s a good thing the other team lost the first challenge ‘cause we’re gonna lose this one. 

Alaska: Don’t say that… 

(at the Construction Zone)

Jinkx (into radio): I’m looking at their project right now Alaska, and they are _way_ farther ahead than us.

(Adore jumps to her feet. Pan over to Bubblegum Bitches’ project, already taking shape)

Adore: What? How?

Jinkx: I assume they actually have a concept of teamwork. As opposed to Three-People-Work-The-Rest-of-us-Fuck-Around or whatever it is we’re doing.

Eureka: okay damn!

Jaida: I wanna work. I just need somebody to tell me what to do.

Ilona: Hey Silky! You’re the one with the degree in organizing and leadership, you wanna take some leadership and organize our messy asses?

Silky (standing up): Alright then now y’all are ready to listen ‘stead of me yellin orders nobody’s payin’ attention to. Alanna and Scarlet--

Ilona: _Ilona!_

Silky: _I_ -lona and Scarlet, you two keep all the screws and shit together, and count em. Heidi, you seem to know the most about this so you’re in charge of actually building. Jaida, you be her second pair of hands. Heidi, what else do you need?

[Heidi Confessional]

Heidi: Honestly God bless Silky. I don’t know what we woulda done if she hadn’t taken charge. 

[Eureka Confessional]

Eureka: We were up the creek without a paddle ‘til Silky took over. I’m not even mad she told me to shut up!

Producer(off-screen): what was the other job she gave you?

Eureka: Oh I was the Repeater! So the person with the walkie-talkie could pay attention to Alaska on the other line they’d tell me what Alaska said and I’d repeat it and make sure everybody knows what we’re supposed to be doin’. I was damn good at it too, I know my voice carries!

[Courtney Confessional]

Courtney: Jinkx asked if I wanted to take the radio for a minute. She was really stressed, I could tell. And I started talking to Alaska and found out Alaska was in full on panic mode.

(Cut to Alaska Meltdown footage. A black box disappears and reappears over her mouth. Instead of bleeping her, her audio just cuts off abruptly every half second.)

Alaska: sh-- fu-- fu--ng co-- sh--ng f--- ass tw--

[Alaska Confessional]

Alaska: I don’t really _remember_ what was going through my head exactly but something like, We lost. We’re gonna lose this and they’re gonna blame me and I’m the --(hard cut)-- new girl and they’re gonna vote me off first I’m gonna have to go back to LA and face my friends who I --(hard cut)-- yelled at before I left because they WARNED me not to come here. 

(takes a breath) Something like that.

(Cut to Alaska Meltdown footage)

Alaska: Can I switch teams? I’m not kidding, I wanna switch— make me a Bubblegum Bitch. Can I be a Bubblegum Bitch, please?

[Jinkx Confessional]

Jinkx: Thank God Courtney stepped in— I could not have calmed her down by myself. I’d been trying, you know, and she just… imploded.

(With Courtney as she talks Alaska down)

Courtney: Alaska can you hear me? The game’s far from over yet. We’re gonna handle this, okay? But I need your help to do that.

(On the other side, Alaska lets out a petulant sigh. She scowls and re-opens a page of instructions that she had crumpled into a ball.)

Alaska: fine.

Courtney: You don’t need to look at the instructions for this— in fact I want you to put ‘em down. Stick the paper under your foot for now.

Alaska: then how—

Courtney: Just trust me, okay? This won’t take five minutes.

(Alaska begrudgingly steps on the page of instructions)

Alaska: Now what.

Courtney: Next I want you to close your eyes.

Alaska: Oh come _on!_

Courtney: The more you fight me the more time we waste while the other team’s in the lead. We’re _counting_ on you but you’re no good to us like this.

(Alaska's face sobers. She knows Courtney is right.)

Courtney (continued): _Please_ let me help you.

(Alaska nods. She closes her eyes.)

Alaska: Okay. What now?

(Bubblegum Bitches Coverage)

(Jackie Cox and Brooke Lynn Hytes pass the radio back and forth as they communicate with Rita on the other line. They come to an agreement.)

Jackie: Okay now flip it! So the side we were just working on is on the bottom. We’re gonna do the same thing on the opposite side!

(Trixie and Jan turn the project on its side. They are on their knees in the dirt. Trixie has taken her cowboy boots off to let her move more easily.)

Trixie: we’re gonna need two more screws.

(Aja is holding four screws in her hand.) 

Aja: No, four. No?

Jan: we can start with two--

Trixie (holds out her hand): okay whatever.

[Jackie Confessional]

Jackie: there’s some tension, I’m not gonna lie. But we _are_ working together.

(Trixie takes the screws and Aja makes a face. She turns to share a glance with Yvie, who shakes her head silently. Aja holds up her palms.)

[Aja Confessional]

Aja: It’s stressful. For sure. (beat) I mean I built --(hard cut)-- furniture with roommates, friends before. It’s stressful when you have the directions, we don’t even have a big picture to think of! We’re doing a freaking jigsaw without the picture on the front. Who does this?

(Challenge Footage)

Trixie: fuck, where’s the screwdriver thingy?

(Naomi leans in and grabs the Z shaped tool from beside Trixie’s knee. She hands it to her.) 

Trixie (quietly): thank you.

[Trixie Confessional]

Trixie: _YES_ it’s a lot of pressure, how could it f[EXPLETIVE] not be?! I forfeited the first challenge, half these bitches have it out for me already and now they’re just _watching_ my ass waiting for me to f[EXPLETIVE] up!

(Katya kneels beside Trixie.)

Katya: I’m happy to step in if you need a breather. 

Trixie: no I’m good.

(Katya looks at Jan and shrugs. Jan leans back from her work and looks over at the Screaming Queens. The chaos on the other side isn’t as bad as it was before, but they’re still way behind.)

Jan: Now’s probably a good time to take five. I’ll go first. (She stands.)

(to Katya) Be my guest.

(Katya takes her place and uses her fingers to wind the screw into place. Trixie leans across and secures them.)

Katya: soooo what are your thoughts, feelings, opinions on the subject of building furniture?

(Trixie glares at her.)

Katya: okay! (smiles) not in a talking mood, I get it. But! (leans forward. Lowers her voice) We know this show isn’t just a survival competition, it’s a popularity contest. And I’m gonna go ahead and tell you: I’m very sexually attracted to you. And I would like to see you continue in this competition, and I’m pretty sure I can help get the vote in your favor, but you gotta give me something to work with here. 

Trixie: (sits back. Puts the screwdriver on the ground.) I just finished the first part of this project. How’s that?

Katya: (smiles) that’s a start. 

///

Courtney must either have been to a _lot_ of therapy or be really into Buddhism, because her talkdown works wonders. She’s got the right soft tone without being condescending and the assurance that can only come from someone who genuinely believes what they’re saying. The cute accent is a bonus. 

Alaska reclines against the back of her chair. Its uncomfortable, but her little episode took a lot out of her. Plus it’s been a long day. She lets out a single chuckle and hits the button on her radio.

“You know what I just realized?” She releases the button.

Courtney’s voice is preceded by a telltale _blip_ from the other end. “Wots zat?”

Alaska smiles softly. “This time yesterday I was heading out for happy hour with my friends… God, that feels like forever ago.”

“Been a big day for ya,” says Courtney.

“Yeah…” Alaska's voice trails off. She wishes she could call Detox and Lagoona. She’d have to apologize for how she stormed off, even though she's not _that_ sorry. Mostly she wishes she could tell them everything about today, she misses their commentary and enthusiasm. 

She changes the subject. “How’s the competition looking?”

Courtney delays a second before she responds. “We’re actually making pretty fast progress.” She sounds impressed. 

Alaska chews her lip. “But they’re still in the lead?”

Courtney doesn’t answer directly. Instead she says, “We should be overtaking them soon if we can keep up this pace.”

Alaska starts bouncing her right leg like her mom does. She wishes she could call her mom. “Let’s hope.” 

///

Scene 5 

Latrice and Manila stand at the flagpole. The sun is going down and we’re losing light by the minute.

Latrice: Divas! You have one minute left to complete your projects!

(The teams scatter. At some point the Screaming Queens overtook the Bubblegum Bitches. Both teams have all 3 of their boxes constructed, but they argue over if all 3 should go on top of each other in one column, or if they need to leave one disconnected.)

Heidi: no- they can't all three be connected ‘cause the bottom won’t be strong enough, look at it, it’s gonna topple over.

Scarlett: plus we only had four of the swirly screws to connect ‘em with.

Heidi: _Thank you_ , Scarlett. 

Ilona: It still feels weird to just have one by the side.

Eureka: I know I think so too but Alaska says it’s supposed to be two and one. 

(Bubblegum Bitches talk over one another)

Naomi: maybe its supposed to be like one of those bookshelves where its like steps?

Farrah: I don’t get it why don’t they give us enough screws?

Jackie: Okay Rita says in the picture…

Manila: Ten seconds!

(Trixie wordlessly grabs the third box and sticks it on top of the two connected boxes. Only Katya and Brooke visually react to her doing it. They make skeptical faces but say nothing. It doesn’t matter. They’re out of time.)

Manila: Five! Four!

(Jackie squints at their box tower. She points and makes a face.) 

Jackie: Um—

Manila: Two! 

Latrice and Manila: one! 

Latrice: that's it! Hands up and step away from your projects!

///

Alaska and Rita share a glance. They wait for the signal from the guy in the blue hat and head over to join their respective teams. Alaska’s initially struck by the other team’s project, how it looms about as tall as Rita herself. Rita says something to her team as she approaches and it sounds like a hiss. If it were Alaska she’d say: “why the fuck is it stacked like that.” At least her teams’ looks like the picture. 

She takes her spot on top of some spray paint on the ground. Her legs are still shaky and stiff from her little meltdown earlier and she wishes they could do this sitting. At least she’s next to Eureka, who’s sure to break her fall if she passes out. 

Manila and Latrice are talking again, restating what they already know. Alaska rolls her eyes. Do TV producers think audiences have the memory of a goldfish? Do they think so low of their viewers? 

_Don’t answer that,_ she hears Detox’ voice in her head. Alaska smiles. Genuinely.

It’s a good thing because all of a sudden Latrice is addressing her. “Alaska.”

Alaska snaps to attention. “Mmyes?” It’s a little smoother than it was earlier in the day, mostly because she’s too worn out to have that jumpy anxiety response. She feels more like her reactions are slowed, like an edible just kicked in. 

“You got to read the instructions,” says Latrice in that trumpety baritone. “Do you think you know what your team has built?”

“Um.” Alaska glances at the project, having forgotten what the picture at the end looked like. Seeing it, she remembers. It looked like that. “Is it a wine rack?” 

Latrice gives a tight-lipped smile and nods. Manila does a little jump on her toes and throws her arms in the air. “Youuuure right! It _is_ a wine rack!” she proclaims. “ _And_ the team with the best completed project gets to _keep_ the wine rack in their cabin!”

“And not just that,” adds Latrice. “We’re not about to make you find space for a wine rack you don’t have wine to put in it, so.” She pulls a bottle out of her titties. There’s condensation fogging up the glass, and it’s definitely a cheap brand, but no one cares. Both teams light up with excitement. Even Alaska, who doesn’t have all that much energy left to muster, gets a lift from seeing the prize. Excited murmurs break out among both groups. 

“Ladies, ladies,” Manila chides. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You have to _win_ it first, remember?”

They transition to the judging. The cameras follow the hosts over to where the Screaming Queens stand. Alaska shifts her weight and suppresses a whine. _Why couldn't the other team go first,_ she pouts. They would have gotten to sit down if the cameras weren’t on them. _And oh God, they’re coming right over to me. Brave face, Lask._

 _“Alaska.”_ Manila’s incessant cheerfulness grates Alaska’s nerves. She forces a deeply fake smile. The kind you usually see on mean girls when they’re trying to pretend to be nice but you just know they’re about to whirl around to another girl and talk shit about you. 

The brow raise and facial tic on Latrice's face telegraphs that she notices Alaska's fakery, but she’s not the focus right now. Manila projects even more pleasant energy, only now it’s pointed, almost like she’s _trying_ to piss Alaska off. That alone motivates Alaska to steel herself, to be the most god damned professional she can be during her brief interview with the hosts. 

“You had the job of telling the team what to do, I’m understanding there was some difficulty. Why don’t you tell us some more about that?”

Alaska’s face falls. It’s her instinct to defend; she's not a leader, she didn't pick this role for herself, she doesn't command respect so no one was even listening— but winners don’t make excuses. Her stepdad had said that once. It was about a sports thing, but it’s the same basic principle, right? The pause she takes is only about two seconds, but it’s long enough to regroup. “You know, it’s a hard challenge,” she says. “And it started to get really overwhelming, especially when we got distracted by the other team, I started feeling really overwhelmed.”

Manila nods along. 

Alaska glances down the line at Courtney. “Thankfully I have a great team backing me up and we were able to get ourselves back on course.” She gestured with a long arm. “I’m proud of how well they did, it looks just like the picture!” 

At the edge of her perception, she was aware of the resentful energy coming from the other team. Alaska didn’t really care. Manila was moving on down the line, talking to the other girls about their contributions. Alaska was able to relax. 

She tuned out for the rest of the talking part until Latrice and Manila went over to examine the actual project. Manila poked at the corners. Latrice grabbed a rod and shook it back and forth, which made some noise but the rack remained intact. The same could not be said for the other team. After chatting it up with their competitors, when the hosts went to test the construction, all it took was Manila pushing on the top box with her finger and it caused the whole column to wobble, and the top part, completely unsecured, slid right off onto the ground, splintering and shattering. The smell of sawdust peppered the air. 

Alaska glanced up from the carnage to her competitors’ faces. Farrah and the hot gymnast had their hands covering their whole lower faces, horror in their eyes. Another girl with thick rimmed glasses winced away from the sight like it was physically painful. Rita’s jaw was set, looking like she was trying to burn the broken wood with laser eyes. Brooke the ballerina had her fingers steepled in front of her mouth, her shoulders stiff. To her left, Sporty Spice had her arms across her chest and her face bore a similar expression to Rita, nowhere near as intimidating though. The artsy girl with the gauges in her ears and the septum piercing looks pissed as well, but not as fiery as Jan or Rita. Aja looks more like someone stepped on her toe as opposed to Rita and Jan, who look like someone murdered their dog. She checked on her lunchtime buddies, Yvie and Naomi, to find them not looking shocked so much as tired and… annoyed. Not truly upset, more unhappily resigned to their team’s fate. And Trixie, who’d been distant at lunch, now seemed to have completely left her body, a thousand yard stare in her glassy brown eyes. 

On her own team, some people are open-mouthed gaping, shook at what they just witnessed. Eureka is trying to keep from smiling too big and although Courtney has her hands covering her mouth, the smile in her eyes is crystal clear. Obviously, their team wins the challenge, and though she does her best to celebrate with the rest as they lug their wine rack and fresh bottle back to their cabin, Alaska can’t help but feel badly for the other team. Their project _shattered!_ It’s freaking sad, they spent the same two hours on this challenge, and not only does their project go up in flames -- literally, they’re adding the broken pieces to the bonfire now -- but they land in the bottom on day 1 because of it. 

There’s a camera in the doorway to their cabin, watching as they pour bottom shelf white wine into child sized paper cups. Courtney calls for a cheers. She stands on a suitcase to be seen and holds up her cup. “To us! I wouldn’t make a single change to the people surrounding me right now. We faced crises and we dealt with them and THAT is what good teamwork is all about!” 

Everyone echoes “To us!” and “To victory!” and knocks back the bitter-sour liquid like it’s medicine. They break formation and relax, some girls sitting on their beds or starting their evening routines. Alaska drags herself over to where her still-packed suitcases are stacked on her bed. She sits down and moans, falling back as much as she can. 

“I’ll have what she’s having,” cracks Jaida. 

Alaska smiles. Jinkx is standing kitty-corner up against one of the posts of Jaida’s bunk. She’s about to haul herself seated again, but her body isn’t having it. “Hey Jinkx?” she calls. 

The redhead turns, and hesitates. Alaska feels a sting in her chest and pouts. _My first friend hates me already,_ she thinks. But that’s why she knows she has to make it right. “Can I talk to you a second?”

Jinkx makes her way over and the camera follows at a half-distance. Which, in a cabin this small, is Pretty Freaking Obvious. _Whatever, it’s a TV show. Say what you gotta say._

Jinkx perches on Jaida’s bed. Jaida is pulling off her false lashes and pretending like she’s not listening but she obviously has one ear open. Alaska would if it was her. She’s distracted long enough that Jinkx lifts a brow and prods, “You had something you wanted to talk about?” 

“Right.” Alaska rolls onto her side and props herself up on her elbow. It’s about as close to vertical as she’s gonna get right now. “I need to apologise for earlier.”

Jinkx lifts her Dixie cup. “Mm-hmm?”

Alaska takes a breath. “It’s a thing I do where I get so fuckin’ stressed it’s like it all just comes out and it’s _not_ pretty and it’s not pleasant for anyone unfortunate enough to be around me when it happens.” She pauses.

Jinkx looks at her. “That’s an explanation, not an apology,” she says lightly.

“You’re right.” Alaska feels herself getting red. “I’m sorry you had to witness that. Or listen to that-- you know what I mean. I, I’m sorry I lashed out at you. You didn’t deserve that.” She tries to look Jinkx in the eyes. The redhead only meets her gaze for a second, but it’s enough. Enough to see that there’s hope, a kind of softening. 

Her lip quirks to the side and she says, “You know they’re gonna show you having a temper tantrum on national TV, right?”

Alaska lets out a cackle and groans, leaning forward on the edge of her mattress. It’s thin, and she feels the wood corner digging into her side as she does it. Alaska recalls her stepdad sleeping on the floor when he hurt his back. Maybe she’ll end up having to do something similar. But not tonight. She lets herself relax and falls into a hazy half-sleep before a hand jostling her shoulder rouses her. 

Alaska blinks. Jinkx is holding a makeup wipe. “I know we all wanna crash but I’m not gonna let you fall asleep in full face.”

Warmth grows in her chest. She takes the makeup wipe like it’s something precious. Of course she’d brought her own, but getting them out would require getting them out of her bag. Which would require opening the zipper, and that’s just a whole other can of worms because of the sheer pressure inside that suitcase-- that plastic zipper is doing serious overtime.

She sits up and takes a hand mirror from Jinkx which, it turns out, is actually Heidi’s. And she lets Jaida pump makeup remover into her open hand. Most of the girls have gone to the communal bathroom to do this, she learns. The camera followed them there. So it’s weirdly peaceful in the cabin. Her few friends surround her and… Alaska feels like she wants to cry. In a good way. In a ‘last day of summer camp’ way. Which is especially weird seeing as she’s only on her first day of camp. And somewhere outside, they’re starting to film the first person getting kicked _out_ of summer camp.

///

Scene 6. 

The sun is down and the Bubblegum Bitches sit on the benches around the middle campfire. Confessional footage plays as each competitor approaches the voting box and writes down the name of the person they want to be eliminated. 

[Rita Baga Confessional]

I was not there, I did not see, but I am told it was Trixie who made ze last minute decision about stacking ze boxes. Hers is ze mistake, not mine. I did my job. So I will vote for Trixie.

(Bottom sting vote counter appears with a number one next to Trixie’s photo)

[Yvie Oddly Confessional]

She may not be my cup of tea so far, but Trixie did like 80% of the work in that second challenge. I’d say she more than made up for forfeiting earlier.

(Vote counter appears with a number one beside Trixie and Farrah’s photos)

[Trixie Confessional]

My vote’s for Farrah. Obviously.

(Vote counter Trixie 1 Farrah 2)

[Jackie Cox Confessional]

See, this is the thing now. Trixie did the majority of the work on this project, we can’t ignore that. But while working on the construction, Trixie was also elbowing everyone else out of the way and taking over basically like it was _her_ project. 

[Brooke Lynn Confessional]

I think that first challenge lit a fire under Trixie’s ass, and she worked her ass off in the construction challenge. It might not have panned out but she deserves credit for that.

(Vote counter Trixie 1 Farrah 3)

[Aja Confessional]

Look, call me petty but I stand by what I said earlier. Yes, it’s shitty since Trixie did most of the work but she also fucked it up at the end so (shrugs) sue me.

(Vote counter Trixie 2 Farrah 3)

[Jan Confessional]

Trixie needs an attitude adjustment. But at least she’s useful.

(looks into the camera) Sorry, Farrah.

(Vote counter Trixie 2 Farrah 4)

[Katya Confessional]

I just… I like Farrah. She’s cute and funny in that way where she has, NO IDEA how fu[EXPLETIVE] hilarious she is. (pause.) 

But there’s something _there_ with Trixie. I can’t explain it, just there’s more _to_ her. I think she’s gonna be good to have around for the coming weeks. 

(Vote counter Trixie 2 Farrah 5)

[Farrah confessional]

(moans) Everybody’s gonna be saying meee. I mean they’re probably right since I basically did nothing. (whining) I just really don’t wanna go home fiiirrrrst. 

(Vote counter Trixie 3 Farrah 5)

[Jackie Confessional Continued]

Yes, Farrah did almost nothing to contribute, but we’re doing this competition as teams. Thus far, Trixie has shown herself to be the opposite of a team player. She may be a stronger competitor than Farrah, but I see that attitude causing conflict down the road and we just don't have time for that. 

(Vote counter Trixie 4 Farrah 5)

[Naomi Confessional]

Send ‘em both home is what I say.

Producer (off-screen): you have to choose someone.

Naomi: (sighs) It’d be easier if I liked either of ‘em. Farrah’s cute I guess. Trixie has man hands but apparently that’s useful. Who’s winning?

Producer (off-screen): I-- can’t tell you that.

Naomi: but someone’s winning, right? What’s the score so far?

Producer (off-screen): well. Depending who you choose, we could have a tie.

(Naomi reacts facially.)

(At the campfire.) 

Latrice: and the first competitor to be kicked off the island IS…

(Gratuitous close up on Farrah. Gratuitous close up on Trixie.)

[TOTAL DIVA ISLAND will be right back after these short messages!]

[Welcome back to TOTAL DIVA ISLAND!]

Latrice: and the first competitor to be kicked off the island IS…

(gratuitous close up on Farrah. Gratuitous close up on Trixie.)

[Naomi Confessional Continued]

Naomi: A tie? Ew! That’s such a cop-out! No, I’m not having that, put me down with the majority, I don’t care who it is.

(vote counter dings Trixie 4 Farrah 6)

Latrice: No one.

(Confused Murmur)

Manila: We’ve come to the conclusion that we’ve already said goodbye to one girl. Really no need to send anybody else packing quite yet, right Latrice? 

(Latrice nods.)

[Farrah Confessional]

Oh thank F[EXPLETIVE]

Latrice: Y’all can all go back to your bunks and get a good night’s sleep-- better be up and at ‘em in the mornin’ cause somebody WILL be goin’ home next week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've reached the end of what I have written for this one. I plan to come back to it at some point, I have plenty of ideas, but gonna be moving TDI to the back burner for now. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> just another fun distraction fic, loosely based on Total drama island (season 1) which ive just rediscovered on netflix. i have 5 chapters written, after the 5th i dont have planned updates anymore but i have an outline for where i wanna go


End file.
